Like most people, I am still somewhat obesessed with the scale and the numbers it shows. Logically I know that it doesn’t truly matter because muscle weighs more than fat yet I still step on it every week or sometimes more than once a week. I still look at that number and think about it. HOWEVER, I also know that what really matters is how I look in the mirror and how my clothes fit. So, I try to only use that number as a gauge since it’s bodyfat feature is crap and I don’t have access to other means of bodyfat testing on a regular basis.
When you look at the difference between a few pounds of fat and the same pounds in muscle, like the picture above, it becomes VERY clear why the scale doesn’t matter. That same poundage of muscle takes up far less space than the fat does, and its smoother as well (for those worried about “cottage cheese” legs)!
What I realized today, is that I FEEL leaner at a weight that would normally have had me wanting to lose about 5-10 pounds. My jeans are hanging off of me in a way that they did when I used to weight about 116-118, yet I now weigh 124-126. I can see my abs, not crazy six-pack abs like some of the CrossFit ladies, but I can see some good definition of them. What I really notice is that some of that annoying “back fat” is gone (not enough for what I’d like but some), and my shoulders and biceps are very defined. Best of all, I really do like the way I look and the way I feel. I love that my workouts are better than ever and that I’m getting new Personal Records (PRs) on so many of them. I love that I am mastering new fitness skills, like handstand push ups off the floor and muscle ups.
I’m still ultra critical of myself, which likely comes from my teen and early adult years of being chubby, and I’d love to get lean enough by next summer to have some of those crazy six-pack abs like so many of the Elite CrossFit ladies have. But, in all reality, when I slip on my old jeans and tighten my belt to the last hole and realize that I can almost pull them off that way, I know that I’ve made some great progress in my body composition. It also reminds me of the success I’ve had in the gym and in my life, and of how hard I’ve worked through my 30′s and now 40′s to be fit, strong, and healthy.
I guess maybe it sounds like I do all this just for vanity, and part of it is just because I spent so much time being chubby and feeling like crap about myself. But, the majority of why I do all that I do is because it makes me feel great in general. To know that I have overcome the things that I’ve overcome; to know that I’ve helped in small ways to change other people’s lives along the way by being an example and by encouraging them to go beyond their self-imposed limits; and to know that I’m setting a good example for my daughters so that they will know that it doesn’t matter how old you are, you can still accomplish whatever you want by being strong, independent, healthy, and determined.
In all reality, what I want most of all is to live a long, active life feeling good about myself and impacting others in a positive way. It is exciting when you know that people are affected and inspired by what you’ve done. Even better, is being able to see them step out of their comfort zone to try and accomplish new things. THAT is the biggest satisfaction of all. It makes all this hard work worthwhile, and this is why I continue to share my story with all honesty about the struggles and successes I have.
You just never know what you say or do that might spark that fire in someone, or what might make someone realize that they can succeed too.
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